“I married my wife for her looks… but not the ones she's giving me lately.”

This funny husband shirt is for the man who knows a raised eyebrow says it all. It's an original RaZits design, and an anniversary laugh that lands before he says a word.

The design: a funny husband shirt that opens with a compliment

The first half reads like a love note. He married her for her looks, and he would tell anyone who asked. Then the second half arrives, and every husband who has ever promised to fix the sink this weekend knows exactly which looks it means: the one across the room at a party, the one over the top of her glasses, the one that answers a question before he finishes asking it.

A familiar marriage joke with vintage framing. It works because both halves are true: he still thinks she's the best-looking person in the room, and she still has a look ready for every one of his ideas. It's the kind of line couples already trade at the dinner table, now on a shirt he can wear instead of saying it out loud.

Still a compliment. Mostly.

Lightweight cotton that holds its shape

• Classic-fit men's tee in 100% combed and ring-spun cotton, with a soft, smooth feel and a tear-away label, so there's no scratchy tag at the neck
• Breathable 4.2 oz/yd² (142 g/m²) fabric for comfortable everyday wear
• Pre-shrunk and side-seamed, with shoulder-to-shoulder taping for added reinforcement
• Black, Navy, Dark Grey or Forest, in sizes XS–2XL (Forest starts at S)
• Care: machine wash cold with the shirt turned inside out; hang dry or tumble dry low; no bleach or high heat

Who it's for

Husbands with a dry sense of humor, dads who never pass up a marriage joke, and the wives who shake their heads and buy it anyway. It's made for couples who share a little sarcasm: an easy shirt for weekends, family get-togethers and date night, and a funny gift for your husband's birthday, Valentine's Day, Father's Day or the holidays. Anyone married longer than a week gets the joke.

Quick answers

Is this a matching his-and-hers set?

No. This listing is one shirt, and it's his. It isn't sold as a couples set, so the joke stays his to wear and hers to react to.

How do I pick his size without asking him?

Lay a T-shirt he already likes flat, measure its length and width, and compare them with the size guide next to the size options. Each shirt can vary by up to 2″ (5 cm), so if he falls between two sizes, the larger one is the safer gift.

Is the fabric see-through?

The fabric is slightly sheer and may appear see-through, especially in lighter colors or under certain lighting. Every color on this listing is a dark shade, where that is least likely to show.

Will it arrive in time for a gift?

Work back from the date using the delivery window under Shipping and returns, and leave a few days of margin before any date that can't move.

Shipping and returns

Free US shipping. US delivery usually 5–12 business days. Easy 30-day returns.

Size guide