Fewer idiots, more firewood.

This is one of our funny hoodies for men, printed with a sarcastic three-line slogan and a wood-handled hatchet for the guy who would rather be at the woodpile than dealing with people. It's a soft cotton-poly pullover for cabin weekends and chilly camp mornings, and an easy laugh of a gift for the outdoorsman who has run out of patience.

The design: one hatchet and three lines of honest frustration

The print reads TOO MANY IDIOTS, then NOT ENOUGH, then AXES, in tall, condensed capitals with a worn, weathered texture, as if the words had spent a season in the back of a pickup. TOO MANY and NOT ENOUGH are black; IDIOTS and AXES are brown, so the two words that carry the joke jump out first.

Between the first and second lines, a single hatchet lies flat across the chest: a dark steel head with a scuffed, lighter cutting edge on the left and a long, light wood handle with visible grain running to a curved end on the right. NOT ENOUGH tucks in right beside the head, and AXES lands big at the bottom. It sits large and centered on the front; the back is left plain.

It's the line you mutter at a packed trailhead lot on a holiday weekend, or while splitting kindling at the cabin as the group chat keeps buzzing. No scenery and no extra decoration, just the tool and the words, so the joke reads clearly from across the campsite.

A soft, sturdy pullover for cool days outdoors

• A 50% cotton, 50% polyester blend that feels soft on the skin and shrinks less in the wash
• Fabric weight of 8.0 oz/yd² (271 g/m²), made with a smooth yarn that resists pilling, so you see fewer fuzz balls
• A two-layer hood that holds its shape, with a drawcord that matches the hoodie
• Stretchy cuffs and hem band with a little spandex, so they stay snug at the wrists and waist
• A front pouch pocket for cold hands, a phone or a pair of work gloves
• Two rows of stitching at the collar, shoulders, armholes, cuffs and hem for strength, and no crease down the middle of the front

Who it's for

Campers, woodworkers, weekend hikers, the man who splits his own firewood and anyone with a dry, sarcastic streak who could use a little more quiet in the woods. It's a camping hoodie for chopping kindling, sitting around the fire ring and running to the hardware store, with a joke that does the talking. As a gift, it suits a funny friend's birthday, the holidays, a Secret Santa swap or the cabin trip with the crew that tests his patience.

Quick answers

Which size should I pick?

It's a men's hoodie. Lay a hoodie you like flat and compare its chest width and length with the size guide next to the size options. 4XL is offered in some colors only, so check the size options for the color you want.

Does the slogan stand out on every color?

It's boldest on the lightest hoodie. On the brighter shades the brown words are softer and blend in more, so choose the light one if you want the joke readable from across the fire.

How do I wash it?

Turn it inside out and machine-wash cold on a gentle cycle with similar colors and a mild detergent. Skip bleach and dry cleaning, tumble-dry low or hang it to dry, and never iron directly on the print.

Shipping and returns

Free US shipping. US delivery usually 5–12 business days. Easy 30-day returns.

Size guide